Johnlock - After Death
by Punkflame
Summary: so i suck at summaries but basically Sherlock did die after the fall and john is seeing him , or maybe something more,


A/N : So I thought of this the other day and I don't know if anyone has done anything like it before so here I go, Sherlock really died and this is an angstyish well feelsy post fall johnlock Fic in which mostly average post fall fics happen ,and then some so read and lmk what u think ^_^ reviews even for grammar are always appreciated.

JOHN POV

It had been six months, six months since Sherlock Holmes the smartest and bravest man I had ever known , my best friend had died. Every day since I have blamed myself , I could have stopped him, maybe even if I had been there more, more helpful in the end then maybe he wouldn't have done it and come down. He tried to tell me that he was a fraud like the media was saying. That could never be true. I know him , knew him and I would never Believe anything other than that he was the best.

The way his aquamarine eyes sparkle when he is solving a case, the way his chestnut locks bounce as we run , the way he can rattle off a thousand word deduction at the speed of light and know everything about you just by looking at you. He was so smart and I-i think I loved him but it's been so long I don't know if I can't hold on much longer.

I heard his voice yesterday calling for me telling me it's going to be alright , but it's not it never will be im going mad. For a while I was seeing an nice girl , Mary, but after a while I became less and less motivated to even get out of bed and I never leave the flat. So she left me. If I need food or anything will go out to the shops for me. Since I never leave I had to quit my job but lets me keep the flat. If I keep hearing his voice though I don't know how much longer I can last.

All the gifts that were sent are pointless, silly thing that, sending gifts to help console someone like they could possibly hope to help with the pain.

I took a step back and closed my laptop, not sure how to end my new blog entry. I had started to see my phycologist again, after all that had happened. I had to start using my cane again and now even with it could barley walk. The only reason that I wasn't in a wheel chair is that I refused to.

My hands shook so bad and I needed many new clothes because all of mine were to big , I had lost almost ten pounds in these past six months. It's not like I'm starving myself , I just don't see the point to eat and I often forget to do so.

A tear rolls down my cheek followed by more.

"John, Please don't cry" I hear his voice say. Which makes more tears fall , I really am going mad I can actually hear him.

"I am so sorry John , I had to save you, it was the only way."

That is what he says most , even if I was somehow actually hearing him , it wouldn't matter, why couldn't we have worked something out , there was always another way with him. Always.

As the months became a year I still could hear his voice it just came more often now everyday he just kept talking to me like he was still alive, as if. Now it's just a cruel joke. A mockery of my care for him. About month ten I started not just hearing him but seeing him too, though he was unable to touch me the pain of seeing him , having my delusions take over my mind is so painful.

A while ago I had moved into his room so I could be surrounded by his smell. But once the delusion began to move things, I had almost completely lost my grasp on what's real and not. I hadn't told anyone about seeing him though, they would lock me up in the looney bin , and that's something I would never do.

But in this day something was different I don't know I just didn't feel like I could continue with these delusions. I was organizing his closet , cleaning up the bloody fool trashed the thing when he was solving his last case. While I was putting things away I saw them. The a white pill speckled with pink from the case with the pink lady. I guess he pocketed it all that time ago. I opened the lid.

From behind me "Sherlock" appeared

" No , John don't do this please don't do this, John I did this to keep you safe and I will keep doing that for as long as I can."

I grabbed the pill and ran past him into the bathroom knocking over a container of lavender bath salts on the way , the bloody gifts. The salt spilled in a way that it made a streak across the floor between the door frame. He chased me until I got into there then he stopped at the door and put his hand up like there was a barrier "John please , don't do this"

"Just-just leAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled at him and pushed the pill past my lips swallowing it dry.

A/N if it's not a bother review please ^_^


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